Mixed Nuts

Things are changing.
I don't know why I'm using this to post. I've got a gorgeous journal sitting on my nightstand and I usually use tumblr to express most things that I'm thinking about.
For some reason, right now is different.
Right now, in this moment, I feel different.
And I don't like it.
I hate change. I don't know how to handle it, and things are changing all around me. Friends, relationships, work, school, family, money, everything.
I don't know what to do but sit in a corner and let everything go to God. But it's so hard to do. I don't know how to release everything that I always feel so in control of and let God handle it. I'm scared.
What's happening to us?
Is anything going to go back to the way it was?
I feel like everything we have is being destroyed by a single conversation.
I feel like our closeness is determined by how well we get along.
I feel like I'm constantly being talked about.
Like everyone's laughing at me.
Pointing at me.
Judging.