Saturday, May 29, 2010

I've been glad, for the past few months, that I've moved on from the past.
I've grown up a little, be it in my relationship with Christ and my personal life. I'm comfortable with myself, which is a lot more than I could have said a year ago.
I'm going to just throw this out there:
Yeah. I made a big mistake. I hurt a lot of people, including myself. I did a lot of stupid things.
But I'm different now. I'm a completely different person than anyone remembers. In some ways, it's for the better, in others, for the worse.
I've experienced some things recently that have enraged me beyond all reason. I've seen lives shattered because of stupid things, and sometimes it feels *good* to know that I'm not the only one.
I deserve so much better. Better than someone impersonating myself just to show how full of themselves they are.
Sure, I was that person once. But I don't think anyone can really see what change does.

Oh, for the record, I know it was you.
It hurt really bad for a while, but at this point, I don't really care. Your seriously middle-school behavior just goes to show how full of yourself you seriously are. Yes. I DO think I'm better than you. Because I wouldn't sink so low just in an attempt to make myself look better.
I haven't spoken to you in almost a year, and you still haven't changed at all. You're the same horrid trash that you always were.
At least I grew out of it.

I like it here. You're right, I'm not in a *good* college. However, I am getting an education. And yes, a part of it was because I KNOW God didn't want it for me. You think it's funny, but I'm serious. And I'm glad for that. If I were still walking the path I was, I'd probably be a alcohol-infested, self-absorbed prick. I don't need any of that to enjoy my life. I just need Jesus. He'll show me where I'm supposed to be.

I have much better friends. There are people in my life that I can love and love me in return. And thanks, because you taught me to never give myself away to any friends ever. I'll never trust anyone the same thanks to you. I'm SO glad I got away from that.
And you know what is the most horrible thing about it all? Peter was right about you. He was right. I'll even admit that.
But seriously, when we alienate ourselves from you, just leave it alone. I don't need you continuously harassing me. When was the last time we spoke? You don't even know me anymore. You have no clue what kind of a person I am now, and you don't know what I'm capable of.
Yeah, I'm not like you. I didn't have every little thing handed to me, and I learned about the real world way before you ever will. I learned how to raise kids and how to treat my peers. I learned how to be a people-person and what life is like living paycheck to paycheck. You'll never have to live like that, and you'll never understand what it's like completely having to take care of yourself.
But seriously? Don't look down on me for it. You're like a racist against people who are less fortunate than you. I hope to God that you don't look at the homeless like that.

I have always deserved so much better.
We had fun together, and apparently you don't even remember any of it. I was just like you, once. I'm SO HAPPY that I'm not like that anymore.
I was mad for a while. Now I just pity you. You have to go to that point just to make your lives interesting. You and your gossiping and your poisonous and sick humor. I'm so much better than that. So yes, I do think I'm better than you. At least I behave like an adult when it comes to friendships.
Yeah, I act childishly sometimes, but when I do, it's all in good fun.

I don't have to grow up. But you seriously do.
Mind the language, but seriously. Get the fuck over yourself.

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