Sunday, January 30, 2011

Finally, I've stopped being sick.
I think all the hours of Mass Effect 1 and 2 have helped a bit.
Valentine's Day is two weeks from tomorrow. I don't know if I really care. I don't look forward to the day, because it's overrated, but a part of me wishes I celebrated it. I can't exactly say why.
Nick's birthday is exactly two weeks after that.
Then comes March.
We're almost there, kids.
Either way...
Is it summer yet? Pictures, Images and Photos

I can't wait.

I'm incredibly boring. Yet I like to have my fun adventures. I just wish that there were people to share them with. I have friends, but I feel like the odd one out. I'm the girl in the group of guys, and I feel out of place in the group of girls.
Work has been...really really depressing for me lately. All the inside jokes that I'm not a part of and the stories that I don't hear just make me sad. I want to be a part of it, but I just don't belong. I can't connect, even though we have so much in common.

Friday, January 21, 2011

That was an incredibly long week. School, Work, Sleep, Repeat is my motto for this week, because that's seriously all I did.
I'm so tired but can't sleep because this blasted cold won't stop making my nose super stuffy.
Thursday morning, I drove downtown to class, waited outside the classroom for 20 minutes, and then checked GRCC's website. Turns out, the professor marked himself as absent at 7:43. Class starts at 7:45. It wouldn't have made a difference if I checked at home or not, because I wouldn't have known he wasn't there. So I drove downtown, paid for parking, and drove home on Thursday morning. I would've been thrilled, but that's pretty much $15 out of my pocket for no reason. Thanks a lot, community college.

I'm really wanting a little bit of romance in my life right now. Sure, that might be the 'time of the month' talking, but don't you think every lady deserves some, if not at least ONCE in a while?
I'm really frustrated about my boots situation. Nick bought some for me for Christmas and they didn't fit, so we returned them to get them in a smaller size. Turns out the size I need doesn't even exist in black. Great. So I'm out boots.
Then the fan that Nick got me for Christmas crapped out on me last night. I mean, really? That's just awful. I really want him to be able to return it and keep the money for it. I doubt he ever would. He spent so much money on the whole thing, and silly man, fans are seasonal and are so expensive at this time of the year. What were you thinking?
It just makes me really upset. The whole season is bringing me down. I just want warmth. I want summer back so bad. This season of sickness and colds is driving me crazy.

I wish people would listen to me some more. I make a suggestion to someone and it gets ignored. Then about 3 days later I get bitched at or someone takes out their frustration on me because they didn't follow the suggestion that I placed.
Take last week, for example. Weekend started on Thursday. I worked on Thursday. I told Nick it would be a perfect opportunity for him to do his homework, because I wouldn't be able to text him so he'd have nothing to distract him.
Nope. Video games or something instead. Come Monday, I can hardly talk to the kid because he's got to get his homework done before he has to go to work that night. Dandy.
Then I get yelled at for being upset about something like this. I never pull the "I told you so," but I sure would like to.

I've been sick pretty much since September. Sure, I get better for a few days, and then it just comes back. I've had this sore throat/stuffy nose thing since last Tuesday, and who knows when it'll get any better.
I'm pretty sure it's because of this house. I need open windows and fresh air; my body can't handle the dust and mildew that's in this house. I'm constantly sneezing and coughing. Poop.
I'm miserable. Someone put me to sleep for a few months. When finals season is here, I'll be dancing and doing cartwheels. Just you watch.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Freedom. That was all we felt. It was a weekly thing, but those moments crammed into my '96 Buick Regal were some of the best. We always had way too many people packed into the back seat, and the smell of sunscreen was overwhelming. We were excited, to say the least, about our Friday trips to the beach. The music was loud, the windows were down, and Nick's warm hand tickled my knee as I pushed the accelerator onward, with my sun-bleached hair flying in and out of my eyes. However, today felt different. The people were the same, and the car made the same noises, and our skin reflected the sunlight from the moisture of sunblock as it always did. But for some reason, I felt out of place. It wasn't long after we arrived that I knew the reason.

I wrote that in a freewriting session this morning in my English 102 class. I really like it. The strange thing is that I'm not even sure if it's real. I wrote it as if it were a memory and I had pulled it out of my head like any other summer afternoon, but I couldn't tell you if it actually happened or not. Strange. I like it.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A few notable notes of the day:

Don't be a woman that needs a man. Be the woman a man needs.
Sometimes, we have to be happy with what other people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want. At least it's something.
Don't waste your whole life trying to get back what was taken away.
*If you really wanna live, don't give a damn about what others say or think and just do what you want to do.*
No matter how hard the past has been, you can always begin again.

I really really want Reese's peanut butter cups.

Monday, January 10, 2011

So this morning, I'm driving to class, and listening to the radio.
I guess the government is making it illegal to make any form of web page impersonating someone else, by penalty of massive 'damages fees'.
This makes me a little bit happy. There's reasons why, but going into detail right now would just bring up past frustrations and that's the past and isn't something I want to think about now.

Right now, I'm thinking about the future.
About my life.
Not so much my profession or schooling, but where I want to be emotionally and spiritually in the future.
I'm excited, nervous, and scared about what's next in life, but I know that whatever happens, God is there. I guess that's something I don't dwell on enough.
I want to be closer to God. I need to depend on him more.
As far as emotional stability, I feel like I have it. Sure, I'm moody and have hard days, but I have definitely found a home for my heart in Nick Zourdos.
He's my best friend, my confidant, my perfect teammate, and my wise listener.
He's my partner in crime, and I love him.
Nick, having you in my life is a great fit. I just want you to know that. You really do mean the world to me, even if I get pissy and throw a fit about how you're late, or you didn't do your homework, or you're not paying attention to me.

I guess this is where I'd put some silly mushy nickname-calling about how Nick is my Nicky-poo or something disturbing like that, but I can proudly say that we don't have that kind of thing.

You make me happy.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Woke up with some frustration this morning.

People need to get over themselves. Especially those who depend on pills to go through day-to-day life.

Sometimes I get accused for thinking I'm better than others.

The fact is, I do think I'm better. I'm not going to lie about that.
I think that's where the big problems come from. Everyone is self-absorbed. It's when we're so self-centered that we don't realize that the things we say and do to other people are so hurtful.
When you yell at someone for waking you up in the morning, only to find out that they only wanted you to come down for breakfast, it can change the entire outlook of the day.

I don't claim to be selfless. Far from it. But it's the fact that I can admit to it that makes me feel...better.
I just wish that others would do the same.

Either that, or I really wish that I was allowed to bite your head off when you're being incredibly irrational and thinking of nothing outside your own little box.
Can't anyone ever put others first anymore?

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Apologies for the massive pictures. I'm way too lazy to resize them all now.


1. Took a road trip with Nick to Chicago.

2. Drove to Canada with my parents to visit my grandma; Had my first beer in a restaurant

3. Finished my first year of college (waiting a year and working has its perks. I have no student loans!)

4. After May hit, I was at the beach at least once a week.

5. Went to my Nick's prom; saw a lot of old "friends" from high school

6. Went flying just for fun with a friend that is a pilot

7. Threw one massive party at my house for my dad’s 50th birthday party; went through a whole keg and then some.

8. Saw Star Wars in Concert

9. Bought an unnecessary amount of fireworks and almost lit my house on fire on the 4th of July

10. Tried a ton of new foods; I now love stir fry, sushi, and Korean food.

My first time ever on a plane. Sitting right behind the pilot.

My first *legal* alcoholic beverage.

My back yard on the 4th of July.

Nick's senior prom. Yeah. He wore a top hat and carried a cane.

Star Wars in Concert. Easily one of the coolest things I have ever seen in my life. But that’s probably because I love orchestral music.

My co-workers have become a second family to me. We’re the best sisters ever. Who needs a sorority?

3. My new years plans consisted of me hanging out with a bunch of my friends and watching TV. We didn’t really do anything in particular. We just had some fun. It was excellent.

4. Dear unnamed,
I’m not bent out of shape that we don’t talk anymore. You have your life and I have mine, but sometimes I wish you’d just get over yourself and stop talking about me behind my back. You have no idea who I am anymore, considering we haven’t spoken since new year’s eve last year, so I’m pretty sure it’s to the point where you can just leave me alone now. I was never mean to you, so why must you insist on being suck an asshole to me?

5. Here’s me, last year on January 2nd.

6. There’s a lot of things I’d like to change. I’d like to eat less junk, exercise more, and spend more time with God. But we all know that I like to eat, and I’m incredibly lazy. I guess that means my faith is gonna grow even more J

7. I’ve gotten really close to quite a few people. All my co-workers count as one, because naming all of them would take up the list of 5.
Then there’s Nick’s friends. I’ve really gotten to know them this year, and that makes me incredibly happy.
I’ve gotten even closer to Nick this year. We’ve had our ‘fights’, our ups and downs, and we work together to get through it.
As always, I’ve gotten closer to Pete. Sure, he’s my brother, but there’s something new every day with him. Gosh I love him so much.
I’ve become incredibly close to God, too. It’s been hard to keep on trusting Him, but I know that He’s always there.

8. My resolution?

Uh. I don’t have one. Resolutions are for pussies.