Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's definitely Christmas season. Currently I am sitting at the kitchen table at Nick's house while his sisters make Christmas cookies. We made some cute gingerbread houses just a little while ago. The presents under the tree at my house are definitely overflowing my living room, but that's probably because the presents are for everyone, including grandkids.
But for some reason, these past few days have been really hard. I'm big on punctuality of people, and I really can't deal with people canceling plans on me. It's been happening a lot these past few days, and it's really irritating.
That and for some reason, a lot of past frustrations that I've just ignored have been resurfacing on my mind. Certain obligations are just overwhelming, even when they typically wouldn't be. Right now, I just really need to feel God's presence more than ever, and it's been really hard for me to get in touch with Him recently. It's not like I don't read my Bible or pray or even talk to Him, but it's just difficult to really feel it.
I'm hoping that this Christmas time will fix that up. I'm amazed at His grace, and I think that the whole Christmas reminder is a good way to return me to where I need to be.

I've been thinking a lot about closure lately. Closure that I haven't given, or that I've never received. I don't know why it just keeps coming into my makes me really sad.
Some seem to think that I owe them something. What? Now that just makes me angry.

My brother is now a man. He's 18 today. I'm AMAZED.
I just feel down. We'll see what happens next, I guess.

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